Dance in the Kitchen Tonight

Merry Christmas Eve!

I came across an article yesterday by Stephanie St.Claire, that I knew immediately that I had to share here with you.  I’ve followed her group, Blissbombed, for the past year, and always find a few moments to pause to read her writing. She writes about relationships and love, my favorite subjects! I asked her if I could share her article, and she graciously agreed. It’s a wonderful reminder for all of us in relationships: dating, engaged, recently married, or celebrating decades together. Especially during the stressful moments of the holidays:

//  You two should dance in the kitchen and burn the dinner tonight.

 

The “stuff” of life isn’t as important as the one you’re doing it with. Invest everything you’ve got into your partner. I know you’re busy. I know life is crazy. I know there are bills to pay, kids to tend to, workouts to get in, spiritual practice to keep up, bosses to please, errands, extended family issues, etc. But the person by your side is everything. YOUR everything.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like they’re everything. Maybe that awareness slowly seeped away a long time ago. Now your partner has become just a friendly appendage, a fixture that you depend on. Someone to share the work with. Someone to keep you warm at night. But you are losing him/her if you do not make them the most precious center of your attention right here, right now.

Most of my sessions in December revolve around broken hearts. Hearts that grew cold, tired, and numb out of neglect. Many of my clients are just trying to get through the holidays in one piece. Their marriages have fallen apart, and come January, there will be a tidal wave of separations. There are kids. There are in-laws. There are jobs. There are lovers-on-the-side to think of. It’s sad and jarring and no one thought it would be their story.

Gramma always said: Don’t look where you fell—look where you slipped. You slipped when you started getting complacent and feeling like your man/woman was a “normal” part of your life. You stopped telling them what you found attractive, exciting, beautiful, sexy, intriguing about them. On that day, they started dying on the vine. And you stopped knowing yourself as a lover. Imperceptible at first, but this is death by a thousand paper cuts.

It’s not too late to love who you’re with. Really love them. Show them with your words, your gaze, your questions. Make them the center of your affection. Recalibrate the whole enchilada if you have to. Surprise them. Yes, you may have to be the first to change, but so what? You’re saving your life.

-Stephanie St.Claire, Blissbombed   |  www.facebook.com/blissbombed

So today, take a moment to be the loving partner that you want to be. Remember your wedding day and how you felt holding hands up at the altar. Surprise him with a kiss on the back of the neck, a sly smile and a nose nuzzle. Between carrying loads of luggage or firewood or gifts, give him a long back scratch and rub his strong shoulders. When you find her in the kitchen stressing over dinner, take her by the waist and twirl her around the floor while the pot of potatoes boils over. Pour her a glass of wine. Kiss her until she forgets to put the dinner rolls in. Let the kids giggle. They’ll love to see you being playful together.

Remember who you live for, who makes your heart race.

Enjoy the holidays, you two.

// Kristen

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k.holly  |  bay area wedding and lifestyle photographer  |  photos of us by the lovely Hannah Suh